![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
klsiegel320Point to Ponder: God smiles when I trust him.
Verse to Remember: The Lord is pleased with those who worship him and trust his love. --Psalm 147:11 (CEV)
Question to Consider: Since God knows what is best, in what areas of my life do I need to trust him most?
Ah, yes. The trust issue.
I can illustrate this with the story of how I came to have the job I currently have (at least for the next week).
I had a horrible job that I hated, where I was treated very much like an indentured servant, with great disrespect and discourtesy. And I started talking to God about that, and about what I might ought to be doing instead.
Eventually, a lay-off came. By then, I was very confident that I knew what I was here for: writing. Putting words on paper. And I was firmly convinced that God was leading me out into a new world, a world where I was going to find a way to make that feed the cat. I was certain that was the direction I was being pointed in, and I set out on the road.
It was a long road. Many people wanted to hire me to keep doing what I'd already been spent six years doing, what I already knew I didn't enjoy and wasn't particularly good at. Few people wanted to consider the possibility that I could do something radically other than what I'd already been doing, or that I could learn quickly enough to do old things in new ways. But I was sure; I could feel the direction I was headed in: there was a job out there, and a place I belonged; I would come to it eventually; I would know it when I came to it. All else was hidden, but those things were abundantly clear.
In the midst of that road, I had an opportunity to give up the dream and just take the offer. It was a decent offer - not the best, but not the worst. But it was not the place I was waiting for, and I knew it. I hung up the phone after hearing that offer, and began to cry - not happy crying, but broken-hearted crying: it was not the place I belonged, but I was afraid I had no choice. I'd been out of work for six months without so much as a serious nibble until that point, and that was in a good economy. Maybe this was the best I could hope for.
I talked with my husband; I pondered in my heart; I prayed. And the answer became clear: it's a risk, but I have to trust. It is out there, I will come to it eventually, I will know it when I come to it. And I have to keep believing that in the absence of any evidence, and in the presence of a clear temptation to settle for less.
I did not settle. I kept looking. I kept being disappointed. I came to a point where it was clear we would be literally bankrupt in days if I didn't find a job. And the phone rang with a job - not the job, but a job. Temporary, but it would keep us going for a bit. I accepted.
And then about two weeks later, the phone rang again. A recruiter - and I'd had these before, and had them turn out to be nothing. This turned out to be magic.
Everything clicked; it felt right from the very first moment I spoke with the recruiter. This was the place. I came to it, after long searching, and I knew it when I came to it.
It was not without challenges; it was not without disappointments and upsets. But it was most definitely where I belonged, and it has led in its way to many blessings I could not even have looked for when I came here.
That has to have been the deepest trusting of Divine will that I have experienced in my life. There have been other times when it became clear I'd been "sent" somewhere or "led" somewhere, but that nine months of walking without looking, in the sure and certain belief that there would be road under my feet when I put them down - that was amazing.
PS - For a different version of the verse, see Psalm 147, in the translation found in the Anglican Book of Common Prayer. Note that the verse identified by the author as 11 is verse 12 in the BCP translation.
Verse to Remember: The Lord is pleased with those who worship him and trust his love. --Psalm 147:11 (CEV)
Question to Consider: Since God knows what is best, in what areas of my life do I need to trust him most?
Ah, yes. The trust issue.
I can illustrate this with the story of how I came to have the job I currently have (at least for the next week).
I had a horrible job that I hated, where I was treated very much like an indentured servant, with great disrespect and discourtesy. And I started talking to God about that, and about what I might ought to be doing instead.
Eventually, a lay-off came. By then, I was very confident that I knew what I was here for: writing. Putting words on paper. And I was firmly convinced that God was leading me out into a new world, a world where I was going to find a way to make that feed the cat. I was certain that was the direction I was being pointed in, and I set out on the road.
It was a long road. Many people wanted to hire me to keep doing what I'd already been spent six years doing, what I already knew I didn't enjoy and wasn't particularly good at. Few people wanted to consider the possibility that I could do something radically other than what I'd already been doing, or that I could learn quickly enough to do old things in new ways. But I was sure; I could feel the direction I was headed in: there was a job out there, and a place I belonged; I would come to it eventually; I would know it when I came to it. All else was hidden, but those things were abundantly clear.
In the midst of that road, I had an opportunity to give up the dream and just take the offer. It was a decent offer - not the best, but not the worst. But it was not the place I was waiting for, and I knew it. I hung up the phone after hearing that offer, and began to cry - not happy crying, but broken-hearted crying: it was not the place I belonged, but I was afraid I had no choice. I'd been out of work for six months without so much as a serious nibble until that point, and that was in a good economy. Maybe this was the best I could hope for.
I talked with my husband; I pondered in my heart; I prayed. And the answer became clear: it's a risk, but I have to trust. It is out there, I will come to it eventually, I will know it when I come to it. And I have to keep believing that in the absence of any evidence, and in the presence of a clear temptation to settle for less.
I did not settle. I kept looking. I kept being disappointed. I came to a point where it was clear we would be literally bankrupt in days if I didn't find a job. And the phone rang with a job - not the job, but a job. Temporary, but it would keep us going for a bit. I accepted.
And then about two weeks later, the phone rang again. A recruiter - and I'd had these before, and had them turn out to be nothing. This turned out to be magic.
Everything clicked; it felt right from the very first moment I spoke with the recruiter. This was the place. I came to it, after long searching, and I knew it when I came to it.
It was not without challenges; it was not without disappointments and upsets. But it was most definitely where I belonged, and it has led in its way to many blessings I could not even have looked for when I came here.
That has to have been the deepest trusting of Divine will that I have experienced in my life. There have been other times when it became clear I'd been "sent" somewhere or "led" somewhere, but that nine months of walking without looking, in the sure and certain belief that there would be road under my feet when I put them down - that was amazing.
PS - For a different version of the verse, see Psalm 147, in the translation found in the Anglican Book of Common Prayer. Note that the verse identified by the author as 11 is verse 12 in the BCP translation.
