Hadn't of course considered that it could be a speed bump - my choir master has met my partner in crime because she came to church with me a couple times, including once when he summarily drafted her into the choir for the day. He would in fact like very much to have her in our choir permanently, but she has a paid soloist/section leader job at another church, so that's not currently an option.
"Honesty is required" is there as a ritual formula; hadn't considered it as distancing, but I can see how it could be. Perhaps, with that formula in the back of my mind, "that is not true, and I need to be truthful" would work as well?
Re: "handily." I'm looking for something that says both quickly and easily, without a lot of effort; would "readily" work for you? If not, probably quickly or easily would be the best alternatives.
Re: the ending. I need "frightening as" something, for sure; and I needed it not to be too wordy, or I might have said "frightening as the plunge of a roller coaster" or "frightening as a cliff dive into dark water"...would either of those work and not be too wordy?
And overall - thank you for loving it and gently inviting me to grow it anyway; your touch is very gentle, and all this approval is really healing in ways I can't even begin to explain. Gotta keep writing.
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branchandroot
Re: Sorta belated gentle edit.
Date: 2009-09-19 05:01 pm (UTC)Hadn't of course considered that it could be a speed bump - my choir master has met my partner in crime because she came to church with me a couple times, including once when he summarily drafted her into the choir for the day. He would in fact like very much to have her in our choir permanently, but she has a paid soloist/section leader job at another church, so that's not currently an option.
"Honesty is required" is there as a ritual formula; hadn't considered it as distancing, but I can see how it could be. Perhaps, with that formula in the back of my mind, "that is not true, and I need to be truthful" would work as well?
Re: "handily." I'm looking for something that says both quickly and easily, without a lot of effort; would "readily" work for you? If not, probably quickly or easily would be the best alternatives.
Re: the ending. I need "frightening as" something, for sure; and I needed it not to be too wordy, or I might have said "frightening as the plunge of a roller coaster" or "frightening as a cliff dive into dark water"...would either of those work and not be too wordy?
And overall - thank you for loving it and gently inviting me to grow it anyway; your touch is very gentle, and all this approval is really healing in ways I can't even begin to explain. Gotta keep writing.